logging this? Do I let this register or do I write it down in order to put it away somewhere, to create a measure of distance from it by introducing it to a medium from which I have read countless fiction. I have read and believed and bought into things in written form because they have seemed closer to life than itself. Now, I turn the tables. I put all of this fate down. I treat it as nothing more than a story that doesn't have a reader in mind. I choose not to take any of it personally anymore. It's almost something I wouldn't bother to read normally, just stumbled upon. And yet where do I invest my true interest in this world? What place is safe for me to believe in without question? Will I ever find a place where the stories I would like to read and write are happening before my eyes or will my true self be left only to the dreamworld?
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Yes! Write the stories you would like to read. If you would let the truth out, pretend it is fiction, declare to yourself that this is not you, not how you feel, just some imaginary person. Then it can all flow. But I don't need to say this because you have done it in the next post. To be refined for another ten years or so ...
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